I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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