you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He better not be in your backpack
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
