I'm passing your future prison.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Dear god my vagina.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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