we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
