We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
