Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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