Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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