Soap is not a condiment
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
