Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize