I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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