i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
