Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he thought i was a dude.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
