I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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