btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
