suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
