She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
