similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
