Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i out mim tonsoeep
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