i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Randomize
