I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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