i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
