apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
