Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You're a waste of cheezeits
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
