bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Be still, my beating vagina.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
