Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize