ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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