the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
