to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
