this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
