i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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