dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
