They should really pass out barf bags in church
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
