omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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