I'm so fucking centered right now
Yo dont text me then not text me
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
