i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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