If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
