K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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