omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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