Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
