Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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