Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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