I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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