We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
All I want is dick and wine.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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