Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
