i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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