going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
