Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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