And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
