The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she told me i tasted like america
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
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