Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
