I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
