Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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