I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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