Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
