So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
