So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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