just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
