I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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