The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
