So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just tell him i said nine months
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize