your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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