david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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