You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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