She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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