just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
