I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
