I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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