I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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