She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
