You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
