I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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