you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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