Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Randomize
