I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize