the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
