he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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