Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
